The Daily Hassle

Laughs on the go.

words that weigh

My dad passed away almost 6 years ago.

Any wit inside my head, it would all be credited to him. Credit also for any inappropriate time time to laugh at something.

Okay not all the credit. Because damn it, I'm just as funny. He was as spontaneous and lively as a combustible reaction to oxygen and had the same effect of taking the air out of your lungs by making you laugh. He would light up the room with his presence. 

In Indian families, you had to be good at something. 

words that weigh

My dad passed away almost 6 years ago.

Any wit currently formulating inside my head would somewhat be credited to him. Additional credit can also be given for any inappropriate time to laugh at something. My favourite inappropriate things are children tripping and falling over. Love it. People tell me that this is psychotic behavior, but I disagree – I mean, it’s not like I trip them.

Dad was as spontaneous and lively as a combustible reaction to oxygen and had the same effect of taking the air out of your lungs by making you laugh. He would light up the room with his presence. The things he would say were a combination of brutal honesty and pigeon English, which makes for the best kind of comedy. If you imagine Russel Peters’ father…. That’s him.

I’ll give you a story. I was in my 20s. I remember one day at our house, when I was seeing my ex-girlfriend out the door in the morning and then I came back to sit on my bed into my room. I was busy making the bed and then my dad walked in.
 
He looked at me and asked me, “Is she gone?”

  I said, “Yup”. I smiled waiting for his quip.

He said. “I don’t know what’s wrong with kids these days, back when I was younger, I never let a girl sleep over the house….[long pause]… the whole night.”

Classic.

 

“He looked at me and asked me, “Is she gone?”
 
  I said, “Yup”. I smiled waiting for his quip.

He said. “I don’t know what’s wrong with kids these days, back when I was younger, I never let a girl sleep over the house….[long pause]… the whole night.”

 

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Now, in Indian families, every family member needed to be good at everything. There was no Jack of all trades. You needed to be a master of everything. This is how family members were remembered.

“Oh Rajesh, he died too young. He was so good at everything!”

 So every part of your life had to be exceptional. (No pressure).

Dad was. A great cook, an amazing and unpredictable father, a tolerant husband and when he a marine biologist he was the best co-worker one could have. He also beat me in chess every damn time. He bragged about beating Bobby Fischer once, unsure if that’s a true story.

 In his older years, he got a lot more frustrated in not being able to do things he used to do, like deep sea diving. So he took out his frustrations with humour.

 Throughout my whole life, he was always there to make sure, that like him, if I said anything funny, it would have to make the family laugh. If it didn't make the whole family laugh, you would be labelled a failure until you did.
 
The best way to describe my dad is comparing him to the character of Guido Orefice in Roberto Benigni's "Life is Beautiful". A man who simply willed the way of chance and made it appear to the one's he loved as an endless manifestation of magic mixed with memorable words and actions.

As I reflect on the many wonderful one liners that's he's imparted, it's hard not to smile and wish that each time I remember them, the moment would last.

 So, to the man that gave me the wonderful gift of making others laugh, and regularly appears in my erotic dreams shaking his head, muttering the words "you need to get laid". I’ll miss you old man.



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Presenting a few one liners from a man called Andrew. These are the ones I could remember.
 

"Rainbows are just cloud diarrhoea "

"When I die, I'm going to heaven. I’m married, I’m already in hell. I can’t see it going downwards from here."

"You can't be scared of everything in your life, son. Except your mother. Be scared of your mother. Hide everything from her"

"Love always costs more than prostitutes. It also has more ineligible fine print."

"Don't worry about pre-nupts son, because if you ever marry someone who doesn't look like a model, chances are she's going to ask you for one"

"Don't trust anyone. Don't trust yourself. Hell, don't trust a rock, it might be the one used to knock you on your head when you’re not looking"

"In some cases, you'll never make it. Unless you're white. You don’t even have to be fully white"

"I can’t believe they manage to match fix cricket. It was the one respectable sport. There’s nothing to live for now. Not even my family”

"Addiction happens to almost everyone this life son. Whether it’s Sex, Drugs or Love. But a man that can balance all three is truly amazing."

"There were better looking models in our day. Back then we called every model a whore. Our generation wasn't as accepting as yours".

"You have to love life. It's the one thing on this earth that you need before you die."
 

My father wasn't the most upbeat person. But he was funny.

Long live humour.