The Daily Hassle

Laughs on the go.

you da real mvp



The internet. Lord of the information highway. Oracle for all. Completer of school assignments. Cheat Note extraordinaire. Provider of visual escapes (youtube), stress relief (youporn) and the latest acronyms that’s hip with the young ones – IYKWIM (google it).

I love the www. When it came out it was so new and literally available at our fingertips. The email was the first real break of social harmonious interactive technology. To be able to sound excited for your so-called friend’s birthday while deep inside, hating them because they forgot yours was just perfect. I am talking to you Brad. You narcissistic bastard. You think you’re more important than me Brad? Come get some Brad.

 

Err…

 

It was also the first time I asked a girl out. Yes, my first time asking a girl out on a date was through the email. Okay, so I’m gutless. Ugly people are allowed to be okay? Anyway, there was no anxiety or stress about being worried so much that my throat would dry up at the exact moment that I muttered the words “would you like to go out with me - as more than a study buddy?” I just typed that email up and sent it proudly knowing any rejection from that point onwards could be deleted and denied. As a precaution, I also sent the email on April fool’s day, so if she said no, I could always say it was a joke.

 

That’s what it’s like to be me. I am a god damn cowardly genius.

 

Okay, so the word "Hero" might be a bit strong, but to battle boredom, we need to be equipped with the right sword. I'm just saying we need a whole bunch of youtube cat videos, emails, social websites, games websites, adult websites, computer repair forums and more adult websites to survive our day to day struggles of “there’s nothing to do”. Yes, I realised I put in adult websites twice. I have needs.



“Okay, so the word "Hero" might be a bit strong, but to battle boredom, we need to be equipped with the right sword. I'm just saying we need a whole bunch of youtube cat videos, emails, social websites, games websites, adult websites, computer repair forums and more adult websites to survive our day to day struggles of “there’s nothing to do”. Yes, I realised I put in adult websites twice. I have needs.”

 


It is a nice little escapade. No one really needs the harsh reality of work, ambition and failure. For borderline agoraphobics like me, it’s the best place to socialise in your undies.

 
Don't judge me.

And it's endless. The things we can do on the internet. Surfing. Tweeting. Updating. Posting. Instagramming and Deleting histories. Ignore the fact that the above examples spells S.T.U.P.I.D for a second. That was pure coincidence.

So the internet. Do we NEED it? Well, we don’t. It’s perfectly acceptable to be buying my book and making me so rich that I live like a king.

 

Jokes aside, we all have that need to be a little famous, even though it's only for a few hundred people to like and if your cat or baby does something cute or death defying, a few million. Even now we think that we're capable of achieving our 15 mins. I blame this on the chubby Korean man with a neat haircut riding an invisible horse – and also Kim Kardashian (and Ray J) – you know the video I’m talking about. It's really attention we opt for, but if fame can be its side effect, I don’t think we’d refuse it.


So I guess the answer is YES. We do need it. Some for absolutely stupid reasons. Like politics.

 

Vote Jon for Australian Prime Minister #2021.