The Daily Hassle

Laughs on the go.

phasebook

 

I like being a part of the social media network.

They said this social network thing was a fad, until it became a pretty huge fad.


It's a place where I can say pretty much whatever I want including a cacophony of swear words stitched together for a genuine laugh. It doesn’t even have to make sense.

I can wake up one day and write two words on my status line like “anal explosion” and then log off, the next day I’ll find at least 30 notifications of likes and 10 comments insisting that I’m probably gay.


Mind you what I DO actually say may not make any sense either, but that's the modern world for you.

 I like the attention though.

 I’m already in my mid-40s so this is basically my 15 seconds of fame, where a "like" is equivalent to an imaginative round of applause – or at least a slow clap.

 

When I first started a page about me, I never thought it would amount to much but as the years progressed, I realised I was a pretty good social media member. I remember the days when this blue devil would ask me log in questions like, “What’s on your mind?” So I just wrote down some random crap like “Japanese blow up dolls”. I realised much later, that I needed to write down statements that made sense like: “I wonder how much a Japanese anime blow up doll costs?” It’s a perfectly innocent question.

 


" When I first started a page about me, I never thought it would amount to much but as the years progressed, I realised I was a pretty good social media member. I remember the days when this blue devil would ask me log in questions like, “What’s on your mind?” So I just wrote down some random crap like “Japanese blow up dolls”. I realised much later, that I needed to write down statements that made sense like: “I wonder how much a Japanese anime blow up doll costs?” It’s a perfectly innocent question.

 

I did secretly hope in my heart of hearts that being blessed with a quick enough wit to make several sarcastic comebacks or taking pictures of myself in weird situations and having equally weird captions underneath said pictures would somehow propel me into superstardom. Alas no, I'm still the resting bitch face, slightly chubby Indian born man I always was with very little chance of being the next Kim Kardashian; who, by the way, dominates social media by being the world’s most infamous slut.

I’m not jealous.

Much.

The best part about these social media sites is that I get to use them at work.

I also use these sites to bitch about work.

I guess a lot of people like doing this. Not that they like being social, but I think it's mostly because we can't mind our own business. Or maybe, it's the thrill of being caught doing something we're not supposed to be doing at work – and achieving a little bit of fame.

It’s truly the responsible person’s way of being reckless and rebellious.

 
These day companies hire you on the fact that you don't have a social network site account. Excuse me? Isn't this a little racist? Well not racist, but more social network site-ist. Socialist! Oh wait – that’s already a word.

 

But isn’t that a bit prejudicial by companies? Aren’t we allowed to voice our opinions?

The divide between political correctness and representing the organisation you work for is too small. We need to be able to express our views anytime we need to without fear of losing our job over it.

 
Otherwise we’d all be conformists, like workers in Japan.

Japan.

 

I hear they’re good at making sex dolls over there.

Realistic faces.

What was I talking about?